He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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