I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize