I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
