don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
