Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am midnight drunk by noon
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
