addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
