i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
