Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
