it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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