Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
