Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I faked an abortion last night.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
