I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
All the doctor said was why
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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