I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
