i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize