well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
