i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
