Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
