I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
