Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
