I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
