come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
