hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
