Buhtt sex?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
