I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
