I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
