Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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