but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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