Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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