If i come over, it means nothing
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
