We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
where are you?
Hypothermia
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
