My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
