I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
