She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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