Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
last night I used snow as a chaser
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
