awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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