She said her name was "party"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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