oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
