he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
3 2 1 whiskey
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
