Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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