a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i came on her dog
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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