What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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