I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
