So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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