She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
