another moral hangover. fuck.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
