i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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