I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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