Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
