doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
