your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
