Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
