Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
