so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
