When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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