Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
