you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
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