So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
