no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
