Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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