Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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