Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
