He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
