You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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